The sweet man.

K is the soul of all these stories. K was the first one I met, not from the cl, but a local bagel store. I was still kind of married, but sexually we had not touched each other for over 5 years. Mentally my husband was out of town to fight for his life. I was horny and lonely.

K was never been my type of man. His hair was all gray, made him look even older than his real age, that was 13 years senior than me, but somehow I feel like his warm smile. May be I was horny and lonely.

We talked and became kind of friend with benefit. Just like me, he was lonely and horny. At first, he found me somehow crazy, running around between home and work and looked for a new baby sitter every week. He helped me out once, sent me his former receptionist, a real beautiful model type, who didn’t know how to change my boy’s diaper. But he was horny and lonely, so he took me to fill his bore and needs. We were kind of convenience for the sexual part, and we both were not each other’s type.

Since the other name of sex is “love making”, so after 2 year pillow talks, we became closer. Somehow we fell in love. We were still not our types and things became inconvenience. During the period of 2 years, many things had happened. I got officially separated from the legal husband of 7 years, with many ups and downs moments. Somehow K had been always with me, helped me stand.

K was a real sweet man, kind and noble, smart but hasn’t got any luck in life, if I don’t mention about too many bad lucks. Long stories for short, he has been in major financial problems after filed for bankruptcy years ago. His nasty divorce brought even more troubles and lawyer bills. During the bankruptcy time, his child support delaying ended up with disaster. He got back to work after the process, and restarted paying child support, but after few months, the child support debt went up to almost 100k.

Sometimes, I don’t understand some American women, why they have to give the exes all those extra problems and without any understanding. Is that their angriness? Whatever happened, they used to love each other, used to be together. One day together, memory last forever, why you have to be unkind?

Life is full of up and down, career, economy are the same, up and down as that. She blocked him from visiting the children. Despite made 120k in 2010 bad economy, K has been living under poverty for decades.

When I met K, It has started a real hard time for him. The company where he worked was under reforming. The economy destroyed many business and people. The new owner, who bought the whole business to win a sale girl’s heart, turned out to be a very bad temper guy, with lots of yelling and craziness. The business’s mood turned up and down together with their on and off relationship. K went to work each day, wondering if the couple had sex the night before, so the boss would be in little better mood. It’s ironic when your professional life depended on someone else sex life. Of course as you may be aware, the sale girl now acting like boss, happily, stupidly and angrily playing power games.

The personal financial situation and responsibilities with the kids that he wasn’t allow buying them Christmas gift, stopped K to turn away, to get a lower salary new job. So he stayed, kept his head low, listen to all the yelling bullshit every single moment.

I felt so sorry for K. He was the sweet man. Used to be rich, the child support became too high for his current situation. He tastes was kind of picky, so he turned out to be a real good cook inside his own kitchen. I didn’t really like his American food, but making him to spend the rest of weekly budget on my dinner seems not a right thing to do, so I told him I loved his cook, and he didn’t need to take me to any restaurant.

I got separated. The truth was we had not touched each other for almost 6 years. My son is autistic and needed a lot of love. With a very quiet father and a work too much mother, he was too lonely, stay inside the door. I always wished to have another child. I talked with the husband about having another kid, also about trying marital sex again. He denied.
So there’s no other choice. I was 38 year old and still want to have at least one more child. With the husband who never want to get a cheap payment hourly job, but couldn’t find any engineering job as his profession in the bad economy, I have to work 70 hours a week to keep up with his engineer living standard. He had been out of job for 4 years. I became exhausted, horny and lost believe in him.

And I was in love with K.

But K said he was too old, too broke, and too sick for any other child.

I said I don’t need money. I had always been independence, I could keep on working, saving money, and if we live together, we would share the bills, and if I stopped paying my ex’s student loan, we would be in much better shape financially of starting a real family.

K said he could change his mind so he could marry me if it was what I want. But he just couldn’t have any other child. Even if he had to lose me, he just couldn’t have any other child.
It’s hurt. Especially to someone was born and raised in Asia. To us, marriage mean having children together except if the god doesn’t want you to and it would be a very bad luck. My great uncle remarried in the age of 70, and still had 2 more children.

It was a hard, long and painful and tearful decision, we made an agreement to let me looking for another potential father of my future children and I had to keep honest to him, to tell him all about the other men.

And it’s started a period that full of jealous and hates, of happiness and hurts between us. I can’t understand why he loved me that much as he said, but he still couldn’t give me another chance. Everyday asking me all jealous questions about men, I know it’s hurt him too. I know it’s hard to see me dating many other men. Million times I asked him pls. change his mind, to give me another child, just one more, we would be together forever and I would do everything for him. But he would never change. May be we came to each other just because we were lonely and horny. May be he loved me because I had never cost him any dollar. I know I am always a good supporter, good listener, because of all the hard time we shared, the problems we shared. We learnt each other through the hardness, understood each other, but we had never been each other’s type of man or girl.

But we loved each other so...

What a bizarre relationship.